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Come to Champlain!
Do you want a spectacular education? And a pony?
Well, you can find out which one of the two you can get by coming to Champlain!
Come to Champlain!
Champlain has a pretty campus and pretty people come here. Come here to be amongst people almost as pretty as you!
Come to Champlain!
Here are just a few successful stories of people who came to Champlain!
“I graduated from Champlain and instantly received a million dollars! You can too!”
Come to Champlain!
“At Champlain I met a celebrity! Celebrities go here!”
Come to Champlain!
Did you know Champlain grads are 13% more likely to survive a nuclear Holocaust?
Come to Champlain if you want to live!
President Warlord Finney demands you come to Champlain! He fights bears and catamounts!
Come to Champlain!
College doesn’t cost that much! Only ten thousand easy payments of $9.99! Sign up today and we’ll throw in a free Snuggie!
Come to Champlain!
Come to Champlain!
Come to Champlain!
Have we mentioned come to Champlain?!
Come to Champlain! Or the pony gets it!
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